i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
