You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
this will be a night to untag.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
