She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
