sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
