Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
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