you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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