cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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