yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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