Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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