I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
only you would photoshop your dick
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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