why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize