and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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