Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize