Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
