I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
