Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
