Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
