Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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