this just has baby written all over it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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