and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
