mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
tell me about the fingering
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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