she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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