his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Man, jail baloney is awful.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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