I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
