You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
