Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Randomize
