is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
