Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
