Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Still dying that you shit outside
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
