Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
