my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
