After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
