fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
