Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
