So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
