Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Two words: blizzard sex
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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