I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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