chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i can't believe i had my finger in that
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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