well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize