yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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