oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
