i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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