god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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