My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Randomize
