Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
