I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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