It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
