my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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