So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
