Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
