Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
