I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
