We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
