Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm getting married
To pizza
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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