My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
