1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
