I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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