the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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