Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
